The Women's Empowerment Group

  Pauline Respress, M.Ed.,   As I travel on this journey, I realize more and more how much power the word NO possesses. It frees us and other to take care of themselves. It turns a caretaker or codependent person into someone who takes care of themselves. It draws a line in the sand for some and tells them I am here for you--but this is where this train ride ends. Some may throw fits and kick and scream and call you unmentionables. But eventually they come to know --that love does not mean saying YES all of the time.  Love means I will honestly express to you what I am feeling and I will tell you NO from a place that is good, a place that has learned to look out for me as well as for you. A place that can no longer take the back seat-- all of the time, out of fear of losing you. A place that is stronger now, more whole now. This new place holds great meaning to me --it is born out of a lifetime of hiding myself out of fear of shining way to m...

At some point in life we have to set boundaries. Boundaries are clear imaginary lines that we place between us and the world. Boundaries are necessary in order to keep people from invading our sacred space. Sometimes when we do not communicate to people --people infer that anything is game. That they can do or say anything to you with no consequences. If you can imagine with me for a moment-an imaginary circle around you --much like a hoola-hoop. When we invite people into our lives they live outside of that circle, until we willingly allow them in. Everyone is not meant to be inside of our circle--some must always live outside of your circle. This does not mean that we don't communicate with them--it just means that they remain at arms length. My mother use to says that you--feed them with a long-hand spoon. I have always been open to everyone allowing them into my most sacred place--but I have learned on my journey that we maintain our level of peace, by not allowing in those t...

Pauline Respress, M.Ed., I pray daily that the Lord will keep me humble, but not so much --that I become a doormat. For many years I thought that being humble was to allow people to simply walk all over me, while I was silently screaming inside-- please stop. I have learned that there is a natural balance that we must find in being humble and having the ability to say no more to some. There are people who need to be stopped --they are silently screaming out-- please stop me. These people don't require our humbleness, they require that we as gently as possible--tell them no more. Tell them that your spirit is humble but your heart and mind are stronger --and that God has implanted in you a keener sense of discernment,empowerment and the ability to tell you the truth. The ability to tell you how your behavior makes me feel--I always thought that stating feelings were wasted words, that they should not be expressed but merely felt. But on this journey I have learned that when we ...

Pauline Respress, M.Ed., When we can attach perspective to our journey then it becomes a lot clearer. Sometimes things that happen to us just don't make sense. But when we can search through the rubble and connect the dots, we can begin to see the root of senseless behavior. I am the first to blame myself for every situation that occurs in my life, no matter how large or small. I take full responsibility and shoulder it, for me it is so much easier to blame myself, than to place the blame where it belongs. This behavior has followed me my entire life--it started when I pulled a cabinet down on my sister when I was around three, my mother blamed me and I blamed myself and the cycle began. Every situation that I encountered whether right or wrong I walked away with all of the blame. I somehow believed that I should never, ever blame others. I saw it as a sign of weakness, that strength came with me-- sucking it up and taking full responsibility. Today I proudly tell my mother t...

Pauline Respress, BAS, M.Ed., When I begin to let you go in my spirit, I find that I can move on. Letting go at times can be extremely hard. We want to see the ones we love flourish, but we can no longer carry them. They must take responsibility for their own dreams and aspirations. My dream for you does not match your dream for yourself and I can no longer be used as your reason for not achieving that it which you aspire. It is so much easier to hold someone else responsible for not achieving your goals. It means that you never have to experience failure or success in yourself. You hold everyone else responsible for your inability to succeed, because you do not have the courage to go after what you really would like to see for your life. I have been there, I stood in the shadow of my husband for many years, because I was too afraid to achieve what I really wanted for myself. I kept telling myself that next year I will do it--he needs me this year. Or I tried to make myself believ...

Pauline Respress. M.Ed., I had an epiphany yesterday as I roamed around in my new space and place in my life. I realized that at times all that we need is presented to us, when we need it. We simply have to be open to receive it. When we can become quiet enough in our selves. We can begin to see the presents that the universe so abundantly give us. The presents arrive in different shapes and forms, some are surprise gifts and others punch and reshape us into to new form. They touch the very place that needs to be touched and in some cases change us forever. We just need to allow ourselves to be open enough to receive it, that means lying down our external-ness and allowing in the beauty and magnificence of change. Change is alarming at times-- it forces us to reshape old beliefs and release what we held on to for so long. The old skin that we walked in has to be shedded to allow in new life. New beginnings at times are as scary as they are rejuvenating..but in order to get to the ...

Pauline Respress, M.Ed As we round the corner to the end of a journey, we feel a sense of bittersweet. There is a sense of relief and a sense of  wonder as to what is next. What is around the next corner or is this the end. The end of a journey leads us to a juncture that opens us up to new thought, new goals.. It is a feeling of achievement and a renewal of new and old passions. It is a shedding of old skin that we allow to fall off to make way for new growth. The journey to achieving our goals is wrought with twist and turns. However, I have come to know that the experiences that get us to our achievement are what makes the achievements of goals that much richer. It is the people and circumstances that we meet on the road to achievement that make it worth it. Receiving the gold is a by-product --it is a period that we place on the end of an era. It is a physical reminder that tells us that --whatever we fully attach our minds and spirits to is achievable. It reminds us that ...