The Power Of The Word "No"



Pauline Respress, M.Ed.,
  As I travel on this journey, I realize more and more how much power the word NO possesses. It frees us and other to take care of themselves. It turns a caretaker or codependent person into someone who takes care of themselves. It draws a line in the sand for some and tells them I am here for you--but this is where this train ride ends. Some may throw fits and kick and scream and call you unmentionables. But eventually they come to know --that love does not mean saying YES all of the time.  Love means I will honestly express to you what I am feeling and I will tell you NO from a place that is good, a place that has learned to look out for me as well as for you. A place that can no longer take the back seat-- all of the time, out of fear of losing you. A place that is stronger now, more whole now.

This new place holds great meaning to me --it is born out of a lifetime of hiding myself out of fear of shining way to much. When I shined- I shrunk--because I cared way to much about what the people around me thought. I didnt want them to envy me or dislike ----because that would mean I would not have any friends and that I would be alone.

Well today ..I embrace being alone, I love my company better than anyone else's. I can proudly shine alone - I no longer need you to be proud of me or to like me or to even love me. Because you know--I like me--in fact I love me. I love my unique personality that is as much inward as it is outward.  I love the fact that I have beautiful hands, and kind eyes and a quirky walk. I love the fullness of my lips and my perfectly shaped ears.

I have come to know that the more we love and embrace ourselves, the easier it becomes to define ourselves to the world. The word NO --no longer holds me prisoner --it frees me in a sense, and allows me to see myself and you in an entirely new way. I now know that the word NO is the equalizer-- it levels the playing field and allows everyone involved to take care of themselves and to navigate from a codependent state to that of a interdependent one. A place where we rely on each other but remain independent of ourselves. Being independent of ourselves requires that we find a balance between loving ourselves and those around us. Loving ourselves teaches us and others how to treat us.

Time is a wonderful teacher--through it --we learn the power that lies in designing and defending the inner and outer perimeter of our space--this affords us the ability to see ourselves and others --and to then say the word NO with certainty!

So this week ladies remember to use the word NO as much as necessary--it affords you the ability to occupy your space more fully...

Go Forth and Do Amazing Things This Week!

Kind Regards,

Pauline

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