Perspective


Pauline Respress, M.Ed.,

When we can attach perspective to our journey then it becomes a lot clearer. Sometimes things that happen to us just don't make sense. But when we can search through the rubble and connect the dots, we can begin to see the root of senseless behavior. I am the first to blame myself for every situation that occurs in my life, no matter how large or small. I take full responsibility and shoulder it, for me it is so much easier to blame myself, than to place the blame where it belongs. This behavior has followed me my entire life--it started when I pulled a cabinet down on my sister when I was around three, my mother blamed me and I blamed myself and the cycle began. Every situation that I encountered whether right or wrong I walked away with all of the blame. I somehow believed that I should never, ever blame others. I saw it as a sign of weakness, that strength came with me-- sucking it up and taking full responsibility.

Today I proudly tell my mother that it was not my fault. I was only three and I did not know what I was doing--I am sorry that it happened but IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. I can no longer shoulder everyone else's blame. I must place the blame where it belongs and never, ever take responsibility for other's messes. Sometimes dysfunctional behavior helps and hurts us all at the same time. Sometime people need someone to take their blame until they can take it for themselves. But when it is time to transfer the blame where it belongs, we must freely give it back to them. It is much like us holding a mirror so that they can see themselves and when they get a glimpse of their own reflection , we gently give the mirror back to them and all of the blame that is within the reflection.

In chemistry their is a term called "chirality" where two molecules are alike yet they are non-superimposable, it can be compared to our left and right hand, they are alike --but you cannot place a right-hand glove on a left hand. Once we transfer the blame where it belongs it can never ever fit our space again, it becomes a part of the person or person(s) at blame reflection. This does not render us blameless --but more aware of knowing the difference. And knowing the difference helps us to see our reflection clearer.

So this week ladies place the blame where it belongs and I promise --you will see your reflection much clearer.

Go Forth And Do Amazing Things This Week!

Kind Regards,

Pauline 

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