Tough Love

When you love someone, sometimes you must let them go in your spirit. Sometimes the heart wants to hold on to them but the mind tells us that we must let them go. Letting go does not always means in a physical sense, it at times means giving another the space to grow. Allowing another to live in their space and time, to feel their breath,their energy and their feelings.

Sometimes two people together can interfere with each other growth. It can stop individual growth, it can serve as crutch as to not endeavor the inevitable growing. When we love someone we at times can feel their pain and want to do anything to take away their pain. But at some point we must all feel our own pain, we must feel it so that we can know it for ourselves. Our pain is the catalyst for our growth--it is the screaming signal to us that it is time to change. That it is time that we come to know that what has worked for so long, is no longer effective or efficient in our lives.

When we are alone with our own pain, then we can begin to own it, process it and decide for ourselves that we must do things differently. Loving someone does not mean that we absorb all of their pain, leaving them nothing to feel. Freeing them from their responsibility of feeling their own pain and experiencing their own mistakes. So we walk around carrying their pain while they are pain free and never, ever grow. This is the slippery slope of loving someone way to much and not loving ourselves enough. Not loving ourselves enough to see that we must let go and let our love fly on its own. Stumbling, crawling or dieing they must do it on their own.

When we can allow ourselves to live in our own space, when can draw lines or boundaries that separate us from others pains. We can then clearly see what belongs to us and what we must give back to others. Others pain is like a sand bag that keeps us stuck perpetuating pain that does not even belong to us. So give it back and choose to never, ever feel for someone who can't even feel themselves.

So this week ladies remember that loving someone does not mean that we must inhale their pain. Exhale and give it back.

Go Forth and Do Amazing Things This Week!

Kind Regards,

Pauline

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Walking On Water

Image
Pauline Respress, M.Ed., We can learn a lot about faith by watching a mere leaf float on water. The leaf calmly floats even though it is surrounded by a vast amount of water. The leaf is not flailing it is accepting where it is and embracing it. This is much how I see faith. I see the spirit as the water and my physical self as the leaf.  My spirit guides me as to where I need to be, but I must trust my spirit to carry me. We become frustrated with our lives when we fight and begin flailing in our spirit. The spirit encamps us, it is our true north, but we must become like the leaf and allow it to guide us. It is a union that we must seek, in order to become one in ourselves. True faith is born out of understanding this union. When we can become silent enough in our heads we can marry the two-- and become stronger in our faith. And then when God leads us to a place, we must activate our faith and dive in--understanding that he will never allow us to sink. We will either floa...
Read more

We Must "Be Love" to "Have Love" ....

Image
This journey is teaching me a lot of things, but the most profound lesson that I have learned is that in order to have love in our lives, we must be the love that we want to see. It is easy to be hate, because hate does not require much work, hate does not require-- practicing forgiveness or understanding or compassion; it merely requires finding reasons to not do the work required to get to more love in our lives. Loving at times --can be messy, it requires letting down all of our guards and diving into unknown places --while abandoning all of our fears and reservations. Loving is an action word, it is the rolling up of our sleeves and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough-- to take the punches that sometimes accompanies getting to love. We all come equipped with artificial guards that protect and soothe us--they are the warm blankets that protect us from the world. But sometimes in order to get to more love-we must be willing to lower our guard and share the love...
Read more

Paschal's Wager

Image
Paschal's Wager is a suggestion posed by French philosopher writer and mathematician, Blaise Paschal, that clearly rationalizes (for me) our belief in Christ.  Paschal believed that in deciding on accepting religion we must first view it as a wager, betting on the fact that God exist and if he doesn't we lose nothing. If he doesn't we have lived a life that is guided by the teachings of Jesus Christ and we have lived as though we have faith, we have also lived an enriched life that is based primarily on love. Some may argue that this rationalization is far-fetched and that they cannot place all of their belief in something or someone that they can not see and that the teachings are merely dogma that people use to hide behind. But for me --I'd rather hide behind love than not--I'd rather be guided by principles that enrich my life than not. What is the alternative? living a empty shell of a life that anything goes and that is guided by our own insatia...
Read more